The Difference Between Being Liked and Being Trusted in Sales
Everyone enjoys being liked, and it is natural to want others to think well of us. However, in sales, allowing the desire to be liked to guide our interactions with prospects can become a problem. When being liked is our primary motivation, we may avoid actions that risk making us seem “unlikable.” This includes pushing back when necessary, appropriately challenging a prospect, or asking the tough questions—questions that might be perceived as difficult, uncomfortable, or even trivial.
Building relationships is undeniably crucial in sales. To form strong relationships, being likable certainly helps. Yet, focusing too much on being liked can prevent us from doing what is truly needed to assist our prospects. Sometimes, it is important to challenge prospects—whether that means questioning their current approach, their processes, or their way of thinking. The most effective sales partners or advisors are those who focus less on being liked and more on earning trust.
When prospects trust you, they feel comfortable sharing their challenges, frustrations, goals, and ambitions. By fostering these open conversations and striving to understand what truly matters to them, likeability often follows naturally.
Why Trust Matters More Than Rapport
Building rapport is about forming personal connections, while credibility-building is about demonstrating expertise, reliability, and honesty. Rapport can make prospects enjoy the interaction, but it is credibility that inspires genuine trust. This trust, in turn, can speed up the decision-making process, as buyers feel confident that your recommendations serve their best interests—instead of hesitating or seeking other options. In the world of relationship selling, trust is the foundation that transforms pleasant conversations into enduring business partnerships and leads to quicker, more committed buying decisions.
The truth is, there are plenty of people in our lives—friends, family, loved ones—from whom we can seek acceptance and likability. But to advance in your sales career, if you find yourself too concerned with being liked by prospects, it may result in less productive conversations and even being taken advantage of for your knowledge. Reflect on how you can shift your perspective: What can you do to ensure prospects trust you more than they simply like you? What actions inspire buyers to turn to you first when they need help, support, or guidance?
Author:
Alex Cole-Murphy
Sales Development Expert
Anthony Cole Training Group
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